So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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