you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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