We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just invented taco cereal.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
