Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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