we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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