Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
