One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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