He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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