32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
