By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize