apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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