I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
