do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
