either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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