Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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