Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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