so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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