So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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