strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
