so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
