But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
