I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had to cum in my sink.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
