Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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