Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
