mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize