i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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