help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
