She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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