i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
