Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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