ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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