just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
