If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
