I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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