I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
