Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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