He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
