I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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