I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
