No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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