Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
