did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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