You're so nebulous sometimes
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
