Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
