I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
