we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
