I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
smell my finger.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
