I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
