she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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