i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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