Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize