made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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