Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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