Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dont even know how to be here
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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