You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
