is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
