There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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