i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
