she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
