this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
