Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
