so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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