is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
